Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
