So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Operation Purity has been aborted
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
