butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Randomize
