his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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