So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
MIDGETS
????
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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