Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize