The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
