So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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