Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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