I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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