I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
