oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
