there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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