yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
