Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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