SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
