hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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