Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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