Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
