we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize