I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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