dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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