Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
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