Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
