i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
