Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
