i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Randomize
