If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize