i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
