did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
