Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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