I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
