I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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