I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
