exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
