So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
