At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize