38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
