As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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