trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
