and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
how drunk are you?
Several
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
