someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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