Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Ambien. No doubt about it.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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