You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
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