It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
