let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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