Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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