my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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