My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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