Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i believe in u and ur pee
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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