sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
