So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
