mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
