Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(504): View more from Louisiana

My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her

Fav 35 855 4065
share tweet
(631): View more from New York

sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood

Fav 113 1361 6571
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(704): View more from North Carolina

"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.

Fav 24 4389 1160
share tweet
(405): View more from Oklahoma

I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.

Fav 20 6239 888
share tweet
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(206): View more from Washington

He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.

Fav 29 1305 3728
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.

Fav 13 972 3055
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(949): View more from California

I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.

(949): View more from California

In a moving vehicle and other people in the car

Fav 7 1598 724
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(401): View more from Rhode Island

Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Fav 1 531 875
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.

Fav 1 170 90
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT