You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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