Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Is that you in the white hat?

(248): View more from Michigan

Fine suit yourself

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(248): View more from Michigan

I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.

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(949): View more from California

Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone

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(513): View more from Ohio

god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.

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(254): View more from Texas

oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted

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(501): View more from Arkansas

When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.

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(989): View more from Michigan

I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.

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