sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
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win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
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I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.