Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(574): View more from Indiana

Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.

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(574): Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter. http://tfl.nu/0enu

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(773): View more from Illinois

Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night

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(773): Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night http://tfl.nu/fbj4

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(905): View more from Ontario

I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.

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(905): I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now. http://tfl.nu/wxpj

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(816): View more from Missouri

I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.

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(816): I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen. http://tfl.nu/atwf

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(416): View more from Toronto

At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?

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(416): At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out? http://tfl.nu/a2wn

Replies (13) Good night (2653) Bad night (808)
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(906): View more from Michigan

he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor

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(906): he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor http://tfl.nu/agbs

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(561): View more from Florida

how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken

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(561): how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken http://tfl.nu/p5ms

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(602): View more from Arizona

At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"

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(602): At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin" http://tfl.nu/p2m1

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(530): View more from California

Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.

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(530): Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle. http://tfl.nu/p5r3

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(949): View more from California

... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs

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(949): ... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs http://tfl.nu/niav

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(313): View more from Michigan

Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?

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(313): Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today? http://tfl.nu/iyco

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(303): View more from Colorado

im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.

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(303): im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now. http://tfl.nu/s8i3

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever

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(306): I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever http://tfl.nu/lhkq

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!

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(+44): Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?! http://tfl.nu/qizp

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(479): View more from Arkansas

You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid

(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak

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(479): You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid (918): I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak http://tfl.nu/f0ta

Replies (6) Good night (876) Bad night (353)

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