I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
