There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Nicole vs. Life
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
