so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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