Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
