I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
