hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
