Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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