Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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