wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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